... poor poor girl

There isn't really an 'easy' way to write about what we experienced this morning, so I'll just get right into it. Again know that this is not to make anyone sad, or guilty, or feel any other negative emotions. My goal is only to inform you of some of the things we're facing which are sure to have a lasting affect on us. For anyone who is extra-sensitive, this may not be a blog entry you want to read.... sorry.

Today was our third visit to a primary school (gr 1 - 8) to meet with the gender club headed by the Youdao program - Violence Against Girls in Education (VAGE). This visit however, was different. We discussed the regular topics (children's rights, HIV/AIDS, violence) with the 20 to 30 girls but once they were dismissed we stayed behind with one 10-year old girl to document her story in English. For the purpose of this story I will call her D.

D understands English very well but spoke in Chichewa while Enock (a Youdao employee) translated. A couple years ago D's father passed away and her mother moved to another city leaving she and her younger sister behind. D was sent to live with her uncle, since he could afford to keep her, although things pretty much went from bad to horrific. At first D was just treated poorly for example by being made to do ALL the chores and walking miles to fetch water (even though there was a tap closer to their house). He became more and more mean to her, until one day he told his wife to go to the market and sent D to her room. He followed her into her room, told her to take off her clothes and began to touch her in private places. She told us she screamed but there was noone there to help her. I won't go into any more details to spare you the images but she described everything to us and believe me, if this were done in Canada - the bastard would be in jail for life. [I was able to keep my cool while in her presence but as soon as she left, I broke into tears, and had to leave the classroom (Shannon, Enock, and the teacher were still inside) to go outside and throw-up, I think all the emotions of listening to her story were too much for my stomach to handle.] D continued to live with her uncle but as she would fight him away more and more he just turned physically abusive and wouldn't allow her to eat. A while later her aunt was finally able to get both of them out of the house, but she wasn't able to support D on her own. Now D is living in an orphanage (apart from her sister) and although she is no longer fearful that her uncle may 'get' her, her teacher says she doesn't attend many classes because her stomach always hurts as she can't get the bad images out of her head. She is however still at the top of her class and has a great deal of potential if she can get past this. D has now been tested for HIV and is fortunately HIV negative.

As hard as this was today, I'm happy that we were there to listen to her, as I'm sure it helps just to discuss what happened. After we write up this case study the director of Youdao knows contacts in other partner organizations that will hopefully be able to get her some support. If I were 5 years older right now, and finished my master's therefore able to afford it, she and her younger sister would be coming back to Canada with me. For now I just have to remain hopeful that she is through the worst of it, and that Youdao will be able to help her. Her teacher is also a very positive person to have in her life and I know she is doing absolutely everything she can.

Shannon and I also talked to Victor (the director of Youdao) when we returned about putting together a group where girls who have been raped may get together to either share their stories or offer support to each other. This isn't much but maybe knowing that they are not alone could help a little bit. I feel very strongly about helping these girls and am absolutely determined to get some sort of program started before we leave Lilongwe in two weeks time.

I wish I could leave this on a more positive note, but I don't know what really to say. Perhaps i'll just ask that all of you put D and her sister into your prayers.

xo from Malawi, and looking forward to being back in Canada

Michelle

PS Please don't worry about me, I'm truly okay, this is just all part of the experience.